Trying
by shaneequa
Summary: MS. Martin breaks up with Samantha, but that isn't the end of his problems.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Trying  
Author: Whatchasayiin  
Rating: T  
Disclaimer: It's still on my wish list.  
Summary: Martin breaks up with Samantha, but that isn't the end of his troubles.  
Spoiler: Boogie Man.  
Author's Note: Okay folks, I posted this on Destined a while ago and had just started working on it again. I got as far as about this first chapter there and I have seven stashed away since I've started working on it recently. Someone just needs to pester me about updating because I get lazy.

Oh, and reviews please (:

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Chapter 1

"This is Daisy Thorpe," Jack said placing the photo down on the desk. Martin picks it up and looks at it while Samantha still looks distant and shocked.

"I'll call you from here and give you the details. The both of you need to go upstate for this one," Jack ordered them. Martin looked at Samantha who just... She still seemed out of this world. Jack looked from Samantha to Martin, they were still not moving.

"Is that... A problem?" Jack asked looking at both of them. He half expected them to jump up hearing they would be trapped in a car together and going upstate heading their own investigation. This was the only time that Samantha looked at Martin.

"No, not a problem, just call us with the details," Samantha said taking the folder that Jack brought and walking away. Jack stared hard at Martin wanting to ask what it was that he did to Samantha for her to react like that. Martin just shrugged and followed Samantha out.

"Can I see the files?" Martin asked her as they waited for the elevator to get to their floor and take them down. Samantha shut the folder and shoved it to him. Martin took the file and looked at her.

"Are you gonna ignore me this whole time we are on this case Sam?"

"Samantha, and you know what? While I'm correcting you, you have no right to call me by my first name anymore," she replied getting inside the elevator. And for once, she loved the fact that the news was playing inside the elevator.

"So... Is this how it's gonna be like?" Martin asked looking at Samantha who was fidgeting with something in her pocket. He didn't know what it was, probably... a paper? She looked at his reflection on the metal and sighed turning to him.

"Yes," she said and then turned back around. Truthfully. Samantha hated how this was like. She would rather be inside the bullpen doing never ending paperwork than being stuck with her ex-boyfriend in the elevator for a few seconds. But what can she do really? Life really sucked.

"Any way that can change? Coz you know Sa...You know, I doesn't have to be..."

"It does... Have to be..." she said. Good. He stopped in the middle of saying her name.

It wasn't because she hated him. It wasn't because from now on they would be professional with each other. She forbid him to say her name because he would always say it, pant it, scream it, play with it and all those other things when they were together. If she heard him say it, she was afraid that she might fall deeper in love with him like she already has. Because somehow, whenever he says her name... It's always in his gentle voice, calming and making her confident telling her she's invincible. But most of all, telling her that he loved her. But now... She doesn't wanna hear it like that.

"So let me get this straight. For the rest of the time until one of us transfer or retire or whatever, just for the rest of our lives, it's suppose to be like... THIS with us?" he asked her.

She turned around and looked at him not saying anything but walking out in the parking lot and standing next to the passenger door waiting for him.

He looked at her perplexed. She, Samantha Spade, didn't want to drive and take the opportunity to focus on something else rather than their awkward silence--which he assumed would happen all over and attack them in the car? Damn. Seems like he was right. She really didn't care. But what's with the cold shoulder?

They both got inside the car and by the time they hit the first stop light--which was right outside the parking lot, there have been fifteen sighing, thirteen subtle glances, fifteen thousand heartbeats and one hundred thousand thoughts running through two minds.

"I don't want it to be like this Sam..."

"First of all, you lost ALL the right to call me SAM. You also lost all the right to call me SAMANTHA so from now on it will be AGENT SPADE, secondly, THIS, you don't get a say about THIS anymore okay? You ended THIS and if that wasn't clear enough that you did, I will tell you again. THIS is how it's going to be with you and me. YOU don't get a say in it..."

"And once again, something else I don't get a say in..." Martin muttered under his breath. A part of him wanted Samantha to hear that but a part oh him didn't but Samantha's reply after that would decide it.

"What? Are you implying that... You know what? I... Starting now, don't talk about us every being Samantha and Martin. As far as it goes, Samantha and Martin were never Samantha and Martin,"

"That wouldn't be to hard to do considering only about 5 people knew that there was a Samantha and Martin," Martin retorted. Samantha ignored his comment and reached for the radio turning it on. But she suddenly wish she hadn't...

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Reviews, greatly appreciated (:


	2. Chapter 2

I'm being real good with updating this one... so far. But time will tell right? Lol.  
For those who are wondering, the last chapter of this fic is still undecided. So when the time comes I'll need input.  
And it's a Martin/Samantha fic, sorry Jack/Sam folks. But this is JS friendly; if you love Samantha hating Martin and all.  
Reviews, greatly appreciated (:

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Chapter 2

Sam looked at him studying his features. He was the sweet kind. The gentle one. The one she never expected to break her heart and tear it into pieces.

But then again.

She didn't know that she would fall for him like he did. So that was unexpected. And just when she was about to admit it to him, give her heart to him fully. He rejected it. Before he even knew what she was doing.

"You know... There was a time that I loved you? When I gave my heart to you...fully?" Martin asked her in a whisper. Samantha looked at him. Of course she knew! A blind man would know that. The spark in his eyes everything she was near told her that much. How much he would hold on her protectively at night. How he thought of her before he thought of himself.

"Yeah... I did..."

"So why did you break my heart?" Martin questioned her.

Samantha was motionless. Her brown eyes downcast and her heart tearing in pieces. She broke him too. For the poor treatment. Using him. Pushing him away. She knew it. Keeping people at arms length would go either way. It would either be the best thing that she did or the worst. In this case. It was the worse.

"You don't even have an answer for that Samantha? Oh. Forgive me. I mean Agent Spade," Martin said sarcasm dripping all over at his last sentence as he turned the car for the exit.

"Do you still love me?"

It came out as a whisper. A final statement for the time being.

"No,"

"Okay... Okay... Yeah..." Samantha said trying to gain her composure back. Trying to keep the tears at bay and not flow down her face. Trying from not feeling anything with what he said. No matter how much that hurt her. She wasn't gonna show him that.

But too late. A lone tear fell from her face just as he was looking at her from the window.

"But that doesn't mean I don't care Sam,"

"But I wish you didn't..."

She replied. Martin stopped the car in the emergency lane on the sidelines of the street--or more like the dirt road now.

"Why?" he asked looking at her intently. Why would she want that? For him not to care? Unless... Well no. That couldn't be right.

"Because, you caring... It just makes me hate myself,"

She lied.

"Oh, well sorry for making you hate yourself, from now on, don't expect me to care," Martin told her rolling his eyes and continuing down the road to their destination.

He wanted this case to be over with, and it wasn't just because of the girl who needed to be found. It was because he was upstate, in a deserted place with the last person on Earth that he wanted to be with.

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Reviews, greatly appreciated (:


	3. Chapter 3

I hope you guys are still reading this fic. I'd love some feedback.  
Anyways, on with the reading (:

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Chapter 3

Walking out of the car, Sam was glad to be out of there. She was about to explode. Sitting in a confined space with Martin just an inch away, it took so much of her self control to not reach over and touch him. She was so scared that the whole time she put her hands under her thigh, securing that it wouldn't be able to touch him. He broke up with her, he did. And no matter how heart-broken she felt, she wasn't about to tell him that. She was almost sure he knew that just in that morning he broke her. Almost, sure.

"Martin?" she whispered as the engine stopped and he pulled the key out.

"Yeah?"

"You wouldn't let anything happen to me out there right?" Sam asked unsure of herself. She did feel bad for the way she was treating him, and knowing him, she knew he was somewhat mad about it. She just needed to know though. She needed to know that whatever it was that was between them, he would still be there to protect her. If you had to ask her yesterday, she would dismiss those thoughts as ridiculous. Now though, she wasn't so certain. But everything after telling him not to care about her, he might take it seriously.

"Sa..."

"Right?" Sam asked again more determined this time.

"I would never let anything happen to you," Martin assured her. She looked at him not really believing what he said. "Ever Sam, I wouldn't let anything hurt you. I promise."

Sam just nodded her head and got out of the car. She bit her tongue not wanting to say her thoughts. She didn't want to tell him that he wasn't doing a very good job keeping that promise. He had hurt her. In the worst way possible. He just broke her heart. Telling her that he didn't love her anymore, it just added onto it.

"You ready Sam—antha?" Martin asked seeing her just standing there leaning on the closed door seeming as if she was taking it's strength. He couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to be the one she could lean on for strength. But he also couldn't shake the feeling that it was his fault that made her feel that way.

"Uhm, yeah. Sure."

"Who are you?" the sheriff asked as they approached him.

"Special Agent Martin Fitzgerald, Special Agent Samantha Spade," Martin said flashing them his badge at the same time as Samantha.

"What can I do for you two agents?" the sheriff asked, a hint of bitterness in his voice. It was no secret that sheriffs and the police departments didn't like the feds. Hell, sometimes they didn't even like themselves!

"We're here for Daisy Thorpe, she was reported missing," Sam spoke up earning a lustful stare from the younger officer. She just glared at him and turned to look at Martin. She was sure he saw that. He didn't seem fazed by it at all though. Guess that just means he really doesn't love her anymore?

"What's that got to do with you guys?"

"Well, her parents called her in missing," Martin replied trying not to punch the officer who was still smirking about Samantha. He knew he had no right to be possessive, but it was disrespectful to Samantha, and all woman to be looked at like that. This guy certainly needed to be taught a lesson.

"Great,"

"Yeah, so care to fill us in, or are we just gonna stand here?" Sam asked getting a little impatient, and pissed. A little more pissed than anything though.

"Okay..." the sheriff started. Sam wasn't really paying attention. She just suddenly had a feeling, and it was a bad one hitting hard. She clutched her stomach and moved to the side at the bushes, for once thankful that they were there, and emptied the breakfast she had in the morning. Then, she composed herself taking out the little mirror and checked her appearance. Good.

"Where did you go?" Martin asked as Sam fell a step beside him.

"Just nowhere," she shrugged. "Fill me in?"

"Alleged murderer, and suspect right now," Martin nodded over at the direction of the guy. Sam nodded and looked quickly at bushes. She hoped it wasn't what she thought it was. She didn't think she could take it if it was.

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Reviews, greatly appreciated (:


	4. Chapter 4

I'm working on updating and finishing Keep On, and I realized that I still had three more chapters of this story that I haven't given to you guys.  
Well, enjoy reading (:  
R&R please.

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Chapter 4

Finding Daisy sitting on the bench of the bus station, Samantha felt a awkward at the familiarity of it all. A girl wanting to run away sitting at the bus station waiting to take her to the big city. True that Daisy was a few years younger than she was when she done that, it didn't make any difference though. She could still relate to the girl sitting there. She could still picture herself at seventeen with the rain pouring down hoping that the few minutes would come bay fast and that nobody would find her there.

"You wanna take this, or should I?" Martin asked snapping her out of her re vier and into the real life. Great, at lest for a few beats she had forgotten all about Martin and the hurt he caused her. Plus that little arising suspicion that has been troubling her all day. What if she was? There would be so much more problems!

"I, would you mind at all if I did?"

"No, go ahead."

"Thanks."

As Samantha opened the car door, it was like she was reliving the life of when she was seventeen. Seeing Daisy there and approaching her lonely form. She hoped that she could get through to the girl to help her get back home. It would be a big mistake if Daisy didn't go back home. She was far too young and too innocent to be out in the real world, in New York. It wasn't true that the city was where dreams come true. It wasn't true that the city would let you escape the past, Samantha knew that first hand.

"Daisy?"

The girl's head snapped up from the ground and looked straight at Samantha. She recognized that look, that lost yet hopeful look on the young woman's face.

"I'm Samantha Spade, I'm from the FBI, we've been looking for you."

"I'm going to New York City, and don't try and stop me," Daisy replied with her stubborn teen attitude. Samantha nodded taking a seat next to Daisy on the bench finding it a little hard to stand up and try to connect with her. Besides, she was tired. Looking for the teen has been anything but relaxing, although with how her day started anything wouldn't have been relaxing.

"What are you going to do when you're in New York?"

"I don't know, but I'm going, and I'm gonna be fine. I have two hundred dollar and I'm, I'm gonna be fine."

"For a few days, I'm sure you will be," Samantha said taking the girl's hand in hers wanting to help her see that there isn't an escape from it all. Not at that moment at least. "But what happens when you run out of money?"

"I.. I'll borrow money."

"From who? Curtis?"

"You know Curtis? Can I talk to him?"

"I'm sorry, I can't do that," Samantha replied shaking her head. Daisy immediately had anger and hurt in her eyes. "It's not that we... We know that he was innocent. It's just that, he's dead Daisy. He died trying to protect you."

"I... What happened? My dad did this didn't he?"

"He did. I'm sorry Daisy, I know how close he was to you."

"Where's my dad now?" Daisy whispered. She wanted her father to get what he deserved.

"He's... taken away, Daisy. You're safe to go home now, if you will."

"I don't think I want to just yet."

"Okay, take all the time you need," Samantha said looking across the street at Martin who sat there looking out at her, right through her actually. Sighing as she leaned back, she was ready for this day to be over. For her to wake up in her cozy queen sized bed with Martin beside her. She was ready for all of this thing to stop.

"Are you ready?" Samantha asked her after a few beats. Daisy just looked up at her and nodded her head. She was ready to go home. Good, because both Samantha and Martin were too.

After letting Daisy and her mother get reunited as a family. Samantha and Martin had gone their separate ways. Martin went into the bullpen to gather his belonging as he was ready to just end the day. It had been a really long day. While Samantha went over and took a detour to Jack's office not minding how it looked to Martin's eyes. She needed to talk to Jack.

"Hey, are you busy?" Samantha asked tapping on the door as she slightly opened it. Jack looked up at her from the paperwork with his spectacles on. He really did seem like an old man to her now. Tired and worn out for the case.

"No, come in."

"Thanks."

"No problem, you two did a good job today. I should pair you off more."

"I, I don't think that's appropriate," Samantha replied shaking her head. Jack just looked at her questioningly.

"I know about the two of you, Samantha. You two seem like you're keeping up the professional work so there isn't really a lot that I should be worried about."

"We... uhm, this may seem like a really random thought, but... I need time off."

"Time off?"

"Yeah, time off. You know, like a vacation, holiday, whatever. Time off. I just... Give me by the end of this week, I'll come in bright and shiny on Monday morning, I just... I need time off."

"May I ask why?"

"No, I'm sorry. I'm not... I can't. I just, please just give me time off."

"Okay, sure, just until Monday. If you need an extension, you need to give me a reason. I"ll put you on personal leave."

"Thanks Jack," Samantha said getting up from her seat. Jack looked at her through the spectacles again.

"Is that it, Samantha?"

"Yeah, that's it. Thanks again Jack."

"Anytime," Jack said as Samantha walked out of his office closing the clear glass doors to walk to the break room. He'd find out soon enough what it was that she was hiding from him. He always does. He found out about her feelings for him, he found out about her feelings and relationship with Martin. Found out about her ex husband and secrets that were only for him to see. He could read her like a book. She should know that by now.

"Hey, you heading out?" Samantha asked seeing Martin with his bag across his shoulder and his coat in one arm. Obviously, he was.

"Yeah, nice job today."

"I uhm... You think we could talk?"

"I actually have plans."

"Oh. Oh! Right, sorry."

"It's... I'm going over to Jamie's house, spend time with Ava," Martin clarified knowing what was in her head. He just broke up with her! He wasn't ready to date someone else. That wasn't how he went about things. He somehow hoped that it wasn't how she went about things either.

"Oh, right. Well, uhm, don't want to keep you here any longer. See you."

"Yeah, see you."

"Hey Martin!" Sam called out making him turn around at her direction.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I didn't fight for us."

"Shouldn't have to be a fight," Martin replied turning back and walking away leaving her there alone in the middle of the bullpen. Danny was long gone and Viv was at home resting because of her heart. Martin's words echoed in her mind as she packed up her things. Should it be a fight?

For the rest of the week nobody had spoken or heard from Samantha. Nobody had tried to contact her after her first day of absence since Jack had told them she was probably out of the country. Probably doesn't have reception, though she'd be back that coming Monday. Everyone sent Martin looks and Danny had even asked him about what had happened between the two of them. The only reply that Danny got was a shrug. Danny got tired of waiting for Samantha to tell him what was happening with his best friend and decided that it would be best if he did call her and figure out where she was going.

Looking up her credit records she saw that she had paid something recently. He was puzzled at what he saw in front of him. She had paid a down payment of 300 for an abortion. He looked at Martin who was busily working on his paperwork calling him over.

"What's up Danny?" Martin asked him rolling his chair over to Danny's desk. Danny motioned for him to look over at the computer screen where Samantha's records were up. He froze in his seat.

"Shit!" Martin exclaimed standing up and out of his chair running to the elevators to go to Samantha's apartment to get some answers. Danny watched him go with a guilt conscious. He shouldn't have told Martin but he had a right to know about what it was Samantha was doing to their child. As far as he knew they were still together and were just going through a rough patch anyway.

Vivian just bumped into Martin as she got into work that morning. "What's up with him?" she asked Danny.

"Oh, you'll find out later..."

Meanwhile, just as Martin stepped out of the elevator in the lobby level, Samantha was about to step in.

"We need to talk."

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Reviews, greatly appreciated (:


	5. Chapter 5

Okay so I have two more chapters done for this fic; still iffy on making an actual ACTUAL end because:  
a - the end of chapter seven is pretty final  
b - I don't know if you guys(specially MS fans) would want a cut off -ish ending.  
But I'll let you guys decide in two chapters time.  
For now, happy reading.  
Reviews please (:

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Chapter 5

Samantha looked at him curiosity written all over her face.

"About what?" Samantha asked him softly her hand resting on her stomach in a gesture that she didn't even notice she was doing.

"We need to talk," Martin repeated more sternly.

"Can't it wait, Martin? I have to report to Jack, tell him I'm here," Samantha said motioning to Jack's office and walking away from him. She couldn't take it, being with him hurt. Being near him hurt. Besides, what else did he want to talk to her about? Getting his things back? She wasn't interested in that at the moment.

"I know about the abortion," Martin said softly knowing that she would hear him from where she was standing. Samantha stopped abruptly. "I know what you're doing to our baby."

"It's my problem, I'm figuring it out," Samantha whispered to him before walking away once again using the words that he directed at her to him. As far as she was concerned, he had no right whatsoever talking to her about their kid. When she gave her up, he also gave the baby up. True that he didn't know about it, but her and the baby came in a package. It wasn't about wanting the baby and getting her as consolation prize. No, it was about him wanting to genuinely want to be with her. Which he doesn't. Want to be with her, that is.

"Sam," Martin breathed looking back and just seeing her walk away into Jack's office. Her words hurt her but he knew that he deserved it, or at least partially did. What he said to her when he broke up with her were pretty harsh things. Well that was the only thing that he really told her, but that still was something so mean, especially coming from him.

The day flew by with nothing but paperwork to get their mind off of things. Martin kept trying and trying to talk to Samantha though every attempt failed. It was just like when they were in their relationship – or whatever you can call it. Whatever she wanted, she would get. If her heart was set on it, then there was no changing it. Breaking up with her seemed to be the only power that he hand in the relationship. Even that he was scared of doing in the confides of their houses because he knew he would crumble once that hurt look flashed in her hazel eyes. At least at work she would act professional and look as if nothing had happened at all. It was easier that way looking like nothing could hurt her.

"Sam, would you like to go to dinner with me?" Martin asked her seeing as they were the only two people there. She was really adamant on killing their child like that?

"I don't think that's a good idea, Martin," Samantha replied walking away to the bathroom needing to throw up. The morning sickness has gotten worse since she had found out; she couldn't keep anything down anymore.

Martin rushed besides her opting to help her get to the bathroom quickly and safely, but she shrugged his hand away.

"I don't need your help, Martin. Leave me alone," she seethed trying to walk faster.

"I don't care if you need my help, Samantha. You're gonna get it,' Martin replied keeping up with her pace. No other word was said as Samantha slipped in the confines of the women's room knowing that she was safe from Martin and other agents' prying eyes. How did he know about her abortion? She hasn't done it, but there was almost no chance of possibility that she wouldn't come through with it. She just wanted to move on, and no matter how much she loved Martin, she knew that she couldn't carry Martin's baby. On the other hand, she wanted the baby. To remind her of all the things that made her happy, her and Martin.

Martin paced outside boring a whole into the floor. Danny looked at him with pitying eyes. He didn't know what was going on with Samantha and Martin at that moment, but he did know that it needed some serious fixing.

"Hey, why don't you just go inside? I'll stand guard," Danny whispered to Martin. He looked at him confused at first then opened the door gently.

"Sam?" He called out not seeing her the first glance. He then spotted someone curled up at the corner sobbing. He moved towards her with sadness in his eyes. He's never seen her like that before and the shallow person in him was actually thankful for a bit of humanity that she's showing. She's usually so composed that he sometimes wonders.

"Leave me alone, Martin," Samantha whispered. "Please?"

Martin came to her sitting on the floor besides her just staring at her. "I'm sorry, Sam."

"Why? What do you have to be sorry for?" Samantha asked him angered. "You're not killing your child."

"I did," Martin nodded sadly. "By breaking up with you, making you think you're alone in this. I'm still here though, Sam."

"I don't want you to be," Samantha replied looking him in the eye. "I want you to not be here for me. I'm pregnant, and I can't keep the baby. It's not that I won't, I just... can't."

"Why not?" Martin pushed her.

"It's just another one of my problems that I need to solve," she said. Those words that he told her when he broke up with her were so unbelievable hurtful that after almost a whole week she still couldn't take the picture and words off her mind. _Her_ problems.

"Sam..." Martin sighed.

"You can't take it back now, Martin. You can't tell me you want to be with me and that you love me," Samantha told him. "I won't believe you. You're just... doing it for the baby."

"What if I told you I'm not?" Martin asked her.

Samantha shook her head. "It's just over now, Martin. It's over."

"No it's not! Stop it Samantha!" Martin raised his voice grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. "I made a mistake by breaking up with you. I'm sorry! It's not like you haven't done it to me before, alright?"

"It's different this time, Martin."

"Why?" Martin asked her. "Why does it have to be over?"

"Because you made it over, and now it is," Samantha sighed. "I'd appreciate if you... let me be for a while, Martin. It's over."

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Reviews, greatly appreciated (:


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Another week passed and Martin and Samantha were quieter than ever. Neither would talk unless talked to, and it was just strictly business, no matter who they talked to. Then suddenly, Samantha wasn't there for more than three days and Martin immediately knew what was happening. Just thinking about it, knowing that his child would never take his first breath, step, would never laugh or feel love, Martin slipped into depression.

"Hey, you wanna go out in the streets? Pass time?" Danny asked inviting Martin whose gaze was steady outside the window. It was the only thing that he seems to be able to do these days; he was no longer productive at work. Danny sighed knowing that he wasn't gonna get anywhere with Martin. His friend needed help, but he knew that wouldn't really help either. He needed Samantha.

"I'm fine here," Martin replied putting on a fake smile on his face. He knew that his friend could read right through it, but he hoped that Danny got the message. He didn't want company right now, he was too busy mourning the loss of something he would – and can never have.

"I'm not stupid, Martin."

"I know, I just –"

Martin didn't need to finish his sentence; it was pretty obvious how he was. Danny nodded walking away to his own desk gathering his things to get ready to go home. It was past seven on a Friday night, as much as he would stay beside Martin, he knew that his friend wanted space.

Martin sighed walking out to the balcony seeing the busy streets of New York illuminated by bright lights. Any other day he would think that the city was beautiful; it was like having Christmas lights all over the place everyday. His arm was placed along the edge of the balcony as the other fingered the cell phone that was burning a whole in his pocket. He wanted to badly to call Samantha and ask her how she was. If she was recovering well or if she was having post trauma from it, all he really wanted was to hear her voice.

212 – 271 – 6

Martin sighed looking at the digits on his phone. Did he really have the guts to call her and just get hanged up on?

212 – 271 – 692

A thousand other thoughts went though Martin's mind as his thumb hovered over the last digit of Samantha's cell phone number. He flipped his phone shut.

_Pussy,_ he thought to himself. _What are you scared for?_

He shook his head his glance catching blonde hair on the sidewalk. His attention suddenly focused on the figure as she slipped into the back of a bright yellow cab to take her wherever she was planning on going. He wished he were getting into a cab at that moment, just to go to her apartment to see how she was. Just because they broke up, didn't mean that he didn't love her anymore.

_Love_, he smirked. _What is love?_

Before Martin knew it, he was outside Samantha's door. Involuntarily, his knuckles hit the door and his voice called her out. He was powerless at this point.

"Samantha, open the door please. It's me, Martin."

Though he couldn't hear any noise coming from inside her apartment, he still continued with his pleas until he was slumped against the wall next to her door his arm sideways to knock on her door.

"Please, Sam," Martin whispered.

Nothing.

Martin shook his head knowing that was enough; he wouldn't loose his dignity above everything else he lost when he broke up with her. He stood up walking away taking one last glance into the green colored hallway knowing that was the end of the story. He had lost hope. He had stopped believing. He had stopped trying.


	7. Chapter 7

Final Installment.  
I really don't know how else to add on this story and I thought this chapter (and the last one) would do a good job closing it off.  
Thanks for the support (:

Chapter 7

In all her life, Samantha Spade had always been for abortion. She saw that it was wrong giving women no choice but to keep a baby that she didn't want and would further neglect, she felt that her mother should've just aborted her but the decision wasn't hers to make. Now though, she was thankful for the right to decide. Samantha didn't' want her child to hate her like she hates her mother. She didn't want her child to not want to be alive because of something she had done or didn't do. That was why she booked the abortion and went through the sessions with the clinic shrink to make sure that she wanted to terminate her first trimester pregnancy.

Days passed by slowly and before she knew it, it was _that _day. She had gotten up and done what she usually did. Shower, change and – since Jack had given her a few days off – she walked outside and into the park nearby to think and relax. It was noon already but her appointment wasn't until later in the afternoon, she had a lot of time to kill so she walked a few blocks reaching the entrance near the Central Park. A few moments later she was walking through Central Park Zoo where little kids were running around their parent's hands gripped tight into theirs careful that they wouldn't get lost. They were pointing at various animals copying the actions that the animals made. It put a small smile on her face.

"Mommy?" a voice said from below her tugging on her shirt. Samantha turned to look at a little boy his blue eyes sparkling with tears.

"Are you lost?" Samantha asked kneeling to level with the toddler. The little boy with brown hair and brown eyes nodded his head his lips quivering. "Do you know what a police officer is?"

The boy once again nodded.

"I'm one of them, " Samantha said reaching into her purse and taking her badge out to show him. It didn't matter what age, everyone recognizes 'the badge'. "My name's Samantha, what's yours?"

"Cody," he whispered looking around him once again trying to spot the familiar face of his mom.

"Alright Cody, I promise to help you find your mom. But you have to help me okay?" Samantha told him taking his hand in hers.

"Okay," he whispered still scared that he was lost, plus he was talking to a stranger.

"Where did you last see your mommy?" Samantha asked him looking around for a woman who would be panicking at the loss of her child.

"Boat house," Cody whispered pointing in the direction that he had come from. Samantha took his hand walking down the path scanning the area for any sign of Cody's mother. Blonde hair, she knew that much. Why else would the little kid mistake her as his mother.

"Did she leave me?" Cody asked her tugging on her arm.

"No, don't think that Cody. Your mom wouldn't leave you," Samantha assured him though knowing that it was a possibility.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"You did nothing wrong, Cody. And even if you did, you're too adorable to even think of leaving."

Cody nodded stuffing his fist into his mouth. "I want my mommy!"

"We'll walk around and go to information okay? I promise that you'll see your mom again," she said hoping to soothe him some. She knew nothing about kids but all she knew was that she needed to find whoever it was Cody belonged to. He looked like such a sweet boy with so much potential to do anything he wanted to do.

Hours passed by of searching and walking all over the park and still they got nothing. Samantha sat down glancing at her watch, she only had about an hour to get to the clinic. She looked over at Cody who had managed to sit on the bench beside her his eyes dropping in exhaustion. She wouldn't blame him though. He hasn't stopped crying since about half an hour prior.

"I want my mommy," Cody moving to sit on Samantha's lap. Samantha pulled him into her arms rubbing his back in comforting motions hoping that he would at least get some rest.

"I know, honey. I know," Samantha whispered brushing her lips on his temple as his head rested on her shoulder. Before she knew it, Cody was sleeping peacefully in her embrace.

Samantha shook her head seeing a hapy family walk by. How could someone leave a little boy so adorable? She wasn't stupid, she knew that Cody was left there by his mother. A mother who couldn't stand up and face her demons, stand up and be responsible about her decisions and the effects of them. A tear slipped from her eye knowing what she had to do, hand over Cody to Social Services. They were the best at working through these cases.

"Samantha?" Cody whispered as Samantha lowered him on the chair at the office of Social Services. Cody rubbed at his sleepy eyes looking deep in her brown ones. "Is my mommy here?"

"No, Cody. I'm sorry," Samantha apologized. She had promised this child something she couldn't fulfill. Something that was so simple yet complex; for him to find his mommy.

"Are you leaving me too, Samantha?" Cody asked her tears falling from his eyes once again. Samantha's gaze fell on the floor. "I HATE YOU! I hate all of you!"

"Cody, sh," Samantha said pulling him into her arms. Cody pushed her away. "I hate you! You're leaving me! Everyone leaves me!"

"I have to, Cody. I'm sorry," Samantha apologized once again. "This is Mrs. Radburn, she's gonna take good care of you and help you look for your mommy. She's really nice."

"Are you sure?"

"Very," Samantha said with a smile ruffling his brown hair. "Be good for me okay?"

Cody nodded reluctantly looking at the older woman who had a smile on her face her hand reaching out for him. "Come here Cody, I promise I'll take care of you."

"Bye Mommy," Cody said waiving at her giving her a hug.

"I'm not you're mo—"

"Ma'am?" a voice said shaking Samantha out of her slumber. She was on the grass at Central Park her eyes wanting to stay shut. It was the first time in weeks since she have had a decent sleep.

"Ma'am, there have been … _complaints_… about you sleeping here for the whole day. A park officer could drive you to a home if you'd like," a park ranger informed her as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She saw that the sun was already setting and that there were fewer people in the park than when she had arrived.

"Ma'am?"

"No, thank you, that won't be necessary," Samantha said standing up from her picnic blanket. "Tell me, was there a missing boy here today?"

"Not that I know of, Ma'am."

"Okay, uhm thanks, " Samantha said folding her picnic blanket watching the sun set on the man – made lake. She looked at the house that reste don the banks of the lake. It was where she and Martin had spent a lot of time in. It was secluded enough that she felt content and it was public enough to satisfy Martin. It was the perfect compromise for them. Too bad they couldn't find any more _perfect compromises_ in life.

Martin!

Samantha checked her watch seeing that if the team didn't have a case they would be on their way home then. She quickly walked out of Central Park hoping to hail a cab outside and go to Martin's house. She needed to tell him that she was sorry, about what she was going to do about their baby, what she had done in their relationship, just many things she was sorry for and if he would take her back, she wouldn't be stupid enough to make the same mistakes twice.

She walked up to his door just sitting there waiting. It wouldn't take long for him to get there, they worked until seven during days that they only had paperwork, it shouldn't be much of a problem. She looked around in the hallway, she had missed this place. Martin had told her once that he wasn't the one who chose where he was going to live in New York. His cousins Jamie and Allison were the ones that had done that. Samantha told him that they had a great eye for New York real estate and Martin told her that Jamie was an agent. She wondered if she and Martin would ever get a house if Jamie was willing to go ahead and look at it for them.

She looked at her watch again, it was just about quarter to eight. He should be coming home soon.

_He just probably stopped for food_, Samantha thought to herself. It was Friday night and anything else that came into her mind was something she'd rather avoid. They all made her sick to her stomach, Martin being on a date with another woman. It was out of the question.

Minutes past and the clock showed that she had been sitting there for about an hour waiting for him. She sighed looking around, the usual quiet hallway was still; quiet. Martin hasn't gone in and waiting for him seemed pointless, what else other than being out to dinner with another woman would he be doing on a Friday night? He knew for a fact that the Toland family dinners were moved to Saturdays, when they could all spend the day with Bonnie. Shaking her head, she got up and walked away into the elevator taking one last glance at the place that she once thought of as hers. She needed to stop hoping, to stop trying, to stop believing, because all it was doing is making her miserable.

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Reviews, greatly appreciated (:


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